The Runwell Guide
For families and loved ones
You’re reading this because someone you love is trying to get better, or you’re trying to help them try. That takes courage. Here are a few things we’ve learned from families who’ve been where you are.
Let them make the decision
The research and the lived experience both say the same thing: people stay in recovery longer when they choose the program themselves. Offer options, not ultimatums. Go on tours together if they’ll let you. Then step back.
Know the difference between supporting and enabling
Supporting means helping them take the steps they’ve said they want to take: a ride to a tour, a first month’s rent loan with clear terms, showing up when they move in. Enabling means solving the problem for them: calling homes on their behalf without asking, paying indefinitely, moving them from home to home every time something goes wrong. Ask yourself: am I doing this because it’s what they asked for, or because it’s what I wish they wanted?
Take care of yourself too
Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and SMART Friends & Family meetings are specifically for the people around someone in recovery. They’re free. They’re not lectures. They’re peer support for you. If the weight of this feels like too much, that’s normal and you deserve help too.
Understand that relapse is common
Most people in recovery relapse at least once. That doesn’t mean they or the home failed. Treatment for substance use is more like diabetes than a broken bone: it’s managed, not cured. What matters is whether they re-engage quickly.
Protect the household finances
If you’re helping pay, put limits in writing. Help with first month’s rent, not indefinitely. Help with a bus pass, not a new car. Financial stress on the family doesn’t help the person in recovery; it often makes things worse for everyone.
Use the tools here, together
Sit with your loved one. Use our guided search together. Save a shortlist. Talk about what they need and what feels right. You don’t have to have all the answers. You’re not supposed to.
Need to talk right now?
SAMHSA’s National Helpline is free, confidential, open 24/7, in English and Spanish. Trained professionals, not bots. They can help you figure out what to do next.
Call SAMHSA · 1-800-662-4357